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3rd Attack . voice, spam
[ spam - kitchen/breakfast ]
[ She's on the breakfast shift now. Expect Vegemite, thick slabs of bacon, fried tomatoes, and muesli. Also a somewhat eerie blank expression - work like this is really good for letting her turn off her mind. ]
[ voice ]
It was me. Um. The kitchen.
I don't know if anyone was caught in the explosion. Or if the people around were OK.
..well. Most of you I wouldn't care much.
[ One of Ellie's main skills is not apologizing.
After a moment, she cuts the feed. ]
[ She's on the breakfast shift now. Expect Vegemite, thick slabs of bacon, fried tomatoes, and muesli. Also a somewhat eerie blank expression - work like this is really good for letting her turn off her mind. ]
[ voice ]
It was me. Um. The kitchen.
I don't know if anyone was caught in the explosion. Or if the people around were OK.
..well. Most of you I wouldn't care much.
[ One of Ellie's main skills is not apologizing.
After a moment, she cuts the feed. ]
[spam]
I plan to, aye. They need a bit of spoiling, poor lads, and R- certain other people won't let me.
[The dogs are watching, with quietly confident hope.]
...I find they're pretty good as long as I tell 'em what I want. They want to do right. It's 'eartbreaking, in a way.
[spam]
That's why I like sheep better. They live their own lives. Not so eager to please.
[spam]
Can't say they ever struck me as paragons of independent thinking. Don't they tend to just go with the majority?
[spam]
Nah, sheep have really good survival skills. People don't appreciate it.
[ She has strong feelings on the matter. ]
[spam]
I s'pose that's true enough, your 'erbivores usually are. I've not 'ad a lot to do with sheep. Only time I were ever in Australia was a long time before there were any. Mostly rainforest, back then.
[spam]
What was that, the Cretaceous?
[ She doesn't believe Iris. ]
[spam]
Aye, thereabouts. Lady I were knocking about with at the time wanted a breeding pair of Australovenator. Bit like a miniature T-Rex, those, but with nicer temperaments and blue feathers.
[spam]
I give up.
[spam]
I'm not even the only timetraveller on board, Ellie love; you'll get used to it. 'Ey, remind me when you graduate, I'll take you for a tour if you like. Can always use someone with 'er 'ead screwed on that knows 'er way round improvised explosives.
[And then she remembers, and her face falls.]
...well. I don't 'ave me own ship right now. But I'll get 'er back.
[spam]
[ This is her firm opinion. ]
And I don't know that much.
[spam]
Fine, suit yourself. Not like I can't blow things up without 'elp when I need to, girl.
[spam]
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[spam]
Oooh no, lovey. Babs doesn't drink, for one, so I don't drink round 'er. Megamind doesn't 'ardly drink so you'd notice. Plenty of other ways to relax. That's one reason I took the spa over. I ought to encourage folk a bit more.
[spam]
It just doesn't seem that fun to me. Get dizzy and then get sick all over everything.
[ She can't even tell anymore if she hates it because of Chris or because of the party. Maybe both. ]
[spam]
No, well, plenty of folk don't like it. You don't 'ave to, sweetheart.
[She almost says no one here's going to make you, and then stops. She's not sure, but that might be Ellie's sore spot; she's seen that hunched posture from Bea, from Rogue. (From herself, from a time Iris chooses not to remember.)
It's not a promise Iris can make, not for the Barge as a whole. So she doesn't try to make it. She merely resolves to keep an eye out.]
[spam]
[ This topic is dangerous. It brings up all kinds of anger, memories and things that Ellie can't let herself feel. ]
[spam]
She's noticed. She'll be watching out for Ellie. But she won't raise it again.]
I ever tell you about the time we 'ad to clear a flock of velociraptors out of the London Underground?
[spam]
[spam]
[Iris may be inventing this tale out of whole cloth, or it may be perfectly true. Sometimes she's not even sure herself.]
Well, I were working for MIAOW at the time, so when you've got a spacetime anomaly spewing dinosaurs all over the Bakerloo line, narurally they called me in. Oooh, we 'ad a right old time rounding 'em up.
[spam]
[ Maybe an exaggeration. But Wirrawee doesn't exactly have miles of sewers for dinosaurs to hide, and livestock would be a magnet for them, wouldn't it? And if farmers knew to watch out... They'd be ready, with guns. ]
[spam]
Aye, that's what Mida wanted to do. And I'm not - I eat meat, all right, I've hunted for food before now. Me own 'ands aren't as clean as all that.
But I try not to make anything die I don't 'ave to. I found a way to make a scent trail they couldn't resist - I bet you didn't know velociraptors go bonkers for ethyl ethanoate.
[spam]
'Course I knew that. Everyone knows that, velociraptors and ethyl ethanoate. Obvious.
[spam]
Right? This is why you never travel without a bag of pear drops. Anyway, I Pied Pipered those buggers right back down the anomaly they come out of. Then we collapsed it by overloading the particle field with the polarity reversed; job done.
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